Day 18 - Everything is perfect

Today I felt feverish. I am a night owl, completely diurnal. When night falls, I get things done. During the day, my mind wants to escape and go wandering on stranger's streets. It takes a significant amount more effort for me to concentrate on mental activities during the day than at night. Because of this, I tend to stay up waaaay too late for this diurnal world. I get the morning high, fueled by adrenaline and excitement of a new day, then I fall like a broken kite in the afternoon. In fact, if I could have it my way, I would sleep away the hours between noon and 7pm.

I dragged myself to the studio intending on doing two sessions of yoga: Hatha and Bikram. I fell asleep during Savasana, Corpse Pose, during the Hatha session. I really did feel like a dead person.

At my studio, The Sanctuary in Redmond, there's a half hour break between the afternoon/evening classes, and I was oh-so-close to leaving after the Hatha class. "I can't do it. I shouldn't do it. I'm tired. I'm falling asleep," I thought of a couple reasons to leave and go home. For one reason or another, possibly paralyzed by over-analyzing the situation, and in the time by mind went back and forth between itself, the Bikram class had started, so I stayed.

I expected pretty much low or no energy out of me in this session, so I went in the poses as much as my body and breath allowed. Strangely, I had an *amazing* class. I controlled my breath, breathed deeply, and held the poses long and deep. Holy cow, hi! Who are you? I looked at the person looking back at me in the mirror.

Everything is perfect. Everything is perfect. I heard myself repeating, over and over. This totally relaxed my analyzing mind. It was calm, waay calm. It didn't need to check that my contacts were moist enough, that my hands were dry enough, that my tag was tucked in. Everything was perfect. The only thing left to do was the asana.

Sometimes, I am paralyzed by my desire to have everything "perfect". If something is not--an total inevitability--then I dwell on it and it stops me from doing anything at all.

Today, my body taught me that it *can* do better than I realized it could, and that everything is perfect, really!